When Barney, the bulky, bullheaded Bullfrog decided to take up residence under my car tire, i told him politely, “Barney, that is quite a perilous spot at which you can — most definitely — easily expire.”
Barney just sat there without a trembling twitch and said, “You sure are a very worrisome bloke; i can assure you, most greenheartedly, that we brave Bullfrogs are, indubitably, not afraid to croak.”
Then i realized that all of my careful cautions and pale-lectures would not cause Barney to fearfully quiver, so i grabbed his humongous, bullheaded, brown-old butt and — despite his slimy objections — threw him into the river.
With this third time of me bringing fresh meat to the Colony, i am sure to finally get the recognition that i deserve. Hopefully, i will be promoted up the ranks and will be remembered as “The Great Provider” by the Colony. (All of this voluminous Beetle Meat is tough to move, by the way!) I will persevere and will get this wonderful bounty to the Colony.
Goodness! I keep hearing the huge, bipedal ape up above, with his camera, singing the following song to me:
“Getting to know you Getting to know all about you Getting to like you Getting to hope you like me…”
Well, you can clearly see that her cerebral area has expanded significantly thanks to help from her mother having had ingested my blood DNA in the distant past. The many offspring in the large egg sac that she is now carrying will undoubtedly have the same attributes.
(See Tuesday’s post, if you haven’t, to clarify this ongoing Halloween mystery. Maybe you’ll get bitten next!)
It takes a lot of hard work to keep the colony healthy and thriving but i realize that the colony and i are one. We are each other. What each of us does is done for all. (Unlike those ruthless, competitive, bipedal apes, we are 100% cooperative and act for all.)
So here i am, hauling another large bounty of meat for the colony to feast upon. Maybe now i will finally get the recognition that i deserve. Maybe now i will be the great worker-ant that all of the other ants will aspire to be like.
But first, i must get this great bounty to the anthill. While they are feasting, they will be thinking of me. Oh lucky me for finding this treasure of voluminous, wonderful meat!
P.S. — Don’t cringe! (I know that you bipedal apes are watching… and judging.) You bipedal apes eat hairy cattle and pigs and unquestioningly think and feel that it isn’t gross in the least. So don’t judge!