All Posts Tagged ‘Humor

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Barney the Bullheaded Bullfrog

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When Barney, the bulky, bullheaded Bullfrog
decided to take up residence under my car tire,
i told him politely, “Barney, that is quite a perilous spot
at which you can — most definitely — easily expire.”

Barney just sat there without a trembling twitch
and said, “You sure are a very worrisome bloke;
i can assure you, most greenheartedly,
that we brave Bullfrogs are, indubitably, not afraid to croak.”

Then i realized that all of my careful cautions and
pale-lectures would not cause Barney to fearfully quiver,
so i grabbed his humongous, bullheaded, brown-old butt
and — despite his slimy objections — threw him into the river.

Barney the Bullheaded Bullfrog by my car tire. … Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2019

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Third Time’s a Charm… (i.e., further adventures of our very diligent Ant friend)

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With this third time of me bringing fresh meat to
the Colony,
i am sure to finally get the recognition that
i deserve.
Hopefully, i will be promoted up the ranks
and will be remembered as “The Great Provider” by
the Colony.
(All of this voluminous Beetle Meat is tough to
move, by the way!)
I will persevere and
will get this wonderful bounty to
the Colony.

Goodness! I keep hearing the huge, bipedal ape up above,
with his camera, singing the following song to me:

“Getting to know you
Getting to know all about you
Getting to like you
Getting to hope you like me…”





Hauling Beetle Meat to the Colony. … Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2019

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Wordless Wednesday … Not! (My Halloween Offspring)

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Well, you can clearly see that her cerebral area has expanded significantly thanks to help from her mother having had ingested my blood DNA in the distant past. The many offspring in the large egg sac that she is now carrying will undoubtedly have the same attributes.

(See Tuesday’s post, if you haven’t, to clarify this ongoing Halloween mystery. Maybe you’ll get bitten next!)

Fishing Spider (2) Ain’t She a Beauty?! Photo by Thomas Peace c.2019
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The Big Bad Wolf on Halloween, and Other Creepy Tales of Old…

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We represent the Lollypop Guild, The Lollypop Guild, The Lollypop Guild
And in the name of the Lollypop Guild,
We wish to welcome you to Munchkinland.
We welcome you to Munchkinland,

Tra la la la la, la la la, la la la,
Tra la la la la, la la.

The Munchkins Lollipop Guild …. Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2019

Then the wolf showed his teeth and said:

“Then I’ll huff,
and I’ll puff,
and I’ll blow your house down.”

“Well, then please use mouthwash,” said the three little pigs, “Your breath is strong enough to kill an elephant.”





The Three Little Pigs … Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2019

Yet another truly horrifying story:

You, having a bad hair day, reading this stupid
Halloween Blog while
at your computer.

You, at your computer. … Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2019
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Ant close-up (Yikes! for Halloween)… (Three Photos)…

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Good Grief! With even closer macro shots… we can see that some of the ants wear ties! (They are better dressed than the photographer!)

Ant wearing Tie (macro) … Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2019

Vegan Shot (you are what you eat)…

Vegan Shot … (You are what you eat.) … Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2019

Just another one of you meat-eaters.

Just another one of you meat-eaters. … Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2019
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Carnivorous Capers… (i.e., our Ant friend is still at it!)

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It takes a lot of hard work to keep the colony healthy and thriving but i
realize that the colony and i are one.  We are each other.  What each of us does is done for all.  (Unlike those ruthless, competitive, bipedal apes, we are 100% cooperative and act for all.)

So here i am,
hauling another large bounty of meat for the colony to feast upon.
Maybe now i will finally get the recognition that i deserve.
Maybe now i will be the great worker-ant that all of the
other ants will aspire to be like.

But first, i must get this great bounty to the anthill.
While they are feasting, they will be thinking of me.
Oh lucky me for finding this treasure of voluminous, wonderful meat!

P.S. —  Don’t cringe!  (I know that you bipedal apes are watching… and judging.)  You bipedal apes eat hairy cattle and pigs and unquestioningly think and feel that it isn’t gross in the least. 
So don’t judge! 

 

Wonderful Meat-find #2 … Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2019
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Wordless Wednesday … Not! … (Halloween Moon-landing Style!)

34 comments

 

“That’s one small step for arachnid, one giant leap for arachnidkind.”

______________________________________________________________________________

They beat us to it.  

Neil Armstrong didn’t realize that he had a spider hitching a ride on his spacesuit (and that it jumped off and was what actually took the first lunar step). 🙂

 

Neil Armstrong didn’t realize that he had a spider hitching a ride on his spacesuit (and that it jumped off and was what actually took the first lunar step). 🙂 … Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2019