All Posts Tagged ‘Short Stories

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Barney the Bullheaded Bullfrog

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When Barney, the bulky, bullheaded Bullfrog
decided to take up residence under my car tire,
i told him politely, “Barney, that is quite a perilous spot
at which you can — most definitely — easily expire.”

Barney just sat there without a trembling twitch
and said, “You sure are a very worrisome bloke;
i can assure you, most greenheartedly,
that we brave Bullfrogs are, indubitably, not afraid to croak.”

Then i realized that all of my careful cautions and
pale-lectures would not cause Barney to fearfully quiver,
so i grabbed his humongous, bullheaded, brown-old butt
and — despite his slimy objections — threw him into the river.

Barney the Bullheaded Bullfrog by my car tire. … Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2019

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Today is my Birthday, and here’s a little, true story concerning it (that you can unbelieve). Two Photos…

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[First, a few quick notes: 1. Albert Einstein, a vegetarian, and pacifist, had some of the best ideas about how to end all wars. For instance, he advocated countries systematically, in an intelligent and coordinated fashion, exchanging military personal on an equal basis, thereby making invasions into other countries (because of nefarious goals) rather impossible. But people don’t tend to listen to pacifists.
2. Most people just do not see the gravity of certain things, the seriousness of certain important things; they are oblivious, conform and fall in line, and life passes them by… and the many miracles never happen.]
3. This may not have much to do with anything, but here are what i hear as lyrics in the YouTube video of the Dharma for One song, as sung by Jethro Tull (live) at the Isle of Wright Festival. (This song, played in their first album, did not originally have any words/lyrics.)

Dharma, seek and you will find
Truth within your mind, Dharma.
Dharma, each to his own we say,
Together we’ll end our stream, Dharma.
Dharma, mad-time confusion burns,
Seek-money never learns, Dharma.
Truth is like freedom, it doesn’t fool me,
Being true to yourself, never think that you’re free.
Dharma will come eventually, Tao.
Dharma, Dharma…
Dharma, each to his own we sing,
Together we’ll end our stream, Dharma.
_________________________________________________________________________

Today is my birthday. I was born on November 4th, 1951. When i was the age to be eligible to be drafted (or not) concerning the Vietnam war, i was very concerned about what my draft number — according to the U.S.A. Draft Lottery — would be. I was (and still am) a pacifist and was not at all interested in going to war; i am a vegetarian; i don’t even care to contribute to the killing of animals. The lower the draft number that one is assigned, out of 365 (366), the higher the chances of you being drafted. Draft numbers were selected and assigned, via a Draft Lottery, according to your date of birth; the Draft Lottery, which was held to determine the draft status for my age-group, was held on December 1, 1970. So what was my draft number — assigned to my date of birth — after the Draft Lottery was completed? It was 39. I detested that number. I still detest it. It, being a very low number, meant that i definitely would be selected to go to the war. I was very disquieted about my “very draftable” draft number of 39. Circumstances being what they were, i went to college, where a student deferment was applicable. Later, when student deferments were terminated, i had to — because of my low 39 daft number — submit extensive paperwork requesting conscientious objector status.

So, while in college, around the time that i was becoming a vegetarian, i was visiting a friend of mine in his dormitory room. He and i were both avid fishermen; we would often go fishing together (on the weekends). On that particular day, my friend was not feeling well, so he could not go fishing with me (after i had invited him to). Right before i left his room, he gave me — following our brief discussion about music — a large Jethro Tull LP record album that i had never heard or seen before; it was the first album that the group had ever made. Since i liked the group, i thanked him for lending me the album; i left his dormitory room, and put the album on my bed, face up. (I did not look at the back of the album cover.) I went fishing.

I went fishing, alone, at the campus lake. As i fished, i began feeling immensely connected with the fish. One began seeing them as not being separate from what one was. I began seeing their pain as my pain… (or, rather, the “I” was absent and one was everything that was around). Around the same time at the lake, i began feeling like someone or something was watching the fishing; it was a very definite feeling, and i felt very embarrassed to be “seen” fishing (although no one was physically around).

I went back to my dormitory room, without any fish. After a short while, after relaxing a bit, i went over to the record album, that was on my bed, that my friend had given to me, looked at it and (when about to play it) turned it around to look at the back cover. The following is a picture of the album’s back cover. The album, released in the U.S. in February of 1969, is titled “This Was.”

This Was … Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2019

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Wordless Wednesday … Not! (My Halloween Offspring)

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Well, you can clearly see that her cerebral area has expanded significantly thanks to help from her mother having had ingested my blood DNA in the distant past. The many offspring in the large egg sac that she is now carrying will undoubtedly have the same attributes.

(See Tuesday’s post, if you haven’t, to clarify this ongoing Halloween mystery. Maybe you’ll get bitten next!)

Fishing Spider (2) Ain’t She a Beauty?! Photo by Thomas Peace c.2019
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Update on my new Heart Condition… (and The Frightening Halloween Story That is True)

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[Over the weekend, i had a heart attack and went to the hospital. I’ve been a strict vegetarian since 1973, and this sudden heart thing — with arterial blockage and all — certainly came as a big shock; this is especially since, lately, i’ve been eating mostly just whole, organic foods… and i was no longer eating eggs, while the cheese that i ate, twice a week, was “no-fat cheese,” with just a little organic regular cheese sprinkled on top (additionally). I’ve been exercising daily, for years, on an indoor Schwinn bike. Heart disease runs in my family and, apparently, heredity plays a way bigger role in this than i had suspected. I didn’t get any stents; i had 40% to 50% blockage (in a curved area that is an undesirable site to place stents in); additionally, i had 100% blockage in a much smaller but significant artery. So they are treating me with medication. One of the medications that they are giving me is Lipitor, to help reduce LDL cholesterol, but my LDL levels are already low. I am back home and am doing well so far. I will not likely be making comments to my blogs (like i did in the past) for a while, and i probably will not be visiting other blogs as much, like i did in the past. The upcoming posts that i had made and had prescheduled (such as this one, below) will continue for a little while; after that, i will likely just post once or twice a week at the most. Thank you for your consideration and support! Tom]

A few years back, around this time of year, i was taking a little nap on the living room floor while Marla, my wonderful wife, was watching television. I was wearing shorts, and when i woke up and looked toward my legs, i saw a really huge spider suddenly run from my leg area. Since i’ve been a nature-lover all of my life, constantly examining and appreciating insects, spiders, frogs, snakes, and stuff on an ongoing basis, i did not panic. I caught the very large spider and put it in a glass jar. I did take photos of it back then. It was a Fishing Spider. Fishing Spiders tend to live around water, and we live right on a river. This spider was so very huge; i wondered how on earth it could have gotten into our modern, well-sealed house, but it did! This one looked like a tarantula; Fishing Spiders can get to be over 3 inches (8 cm) across. Anyway, i released the spider safely into our backyard by the river.

Later that evening, i noticed that on one of my legs, i had two sizable fang marks. No doubt, they were from the huge spider. I kid you not — and Marla can verify this — i had those fang mark scars on my leg for 3 to 4 months. I did not have any swelling or noticeable side-effects (except for a little craving to eat insects now and then)…tee-hee. So, this large spider probably ingested some of my blood (and blood DNA). Fishing Spiders can inject venom, but it is not dangerous to humans unless you are allergic to it.

So, the story ends… NOT! Just a little while ago, Marla spotted a big Fishing Spider on the front outside wall of our home. I took pictures of it, thinking that it would be perfect for Halloween. It had a big egg-case that it was protecting. I did not disturb it or harm it, of course, since it could be an offspring from the aforementioned spider that bit me. Epidemiological studies suggest that DNA ingested by animals can directly influence future generations and future evolutionary trends for that animal. These spiders could be carrying around my DNA.

Come home to papa! Thanks for showing me the egg-case of the little babies you have made! I feel so proud! 🙂
(I’ll post another photo of this beauty on Wednesday.)

Fishing Spider (1) Ain’t She A Beauty?! Photo by Thomas Peace c.2019
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The Big Bad Wolf on Halloween, and Other Creepy Tales of Old…

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We represent the Lollypop Guild, The Lollypop Guild, The Lollypop Guild
And in the name of the Lollypop Guild,
We wish to welcome you to Munchkinland.
We welcome you to Munchkinland,

Tra la la la la, la la la, la la la,
Tra la la la la, la la.

The Munchkins Lollipop Guild …. Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2019

Then the wolf showed his teeth and said:

“Then I’ll huff,
and I’ll puff,
and I’ll blow your house down.”

“Well, then please use mouthwash,” said the three little pigs, “Your breath is strong enough to kill an elephant.”





The Three Little Pigs … Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2019

Yet another truly horrifying story:

You, having a bad hair day, reading this stupid
Halloween Blog while
at your computer.

You, at your computer. … Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2019
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Carnivorous Capers… (i.e., our Ant friend is still at it!)

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It takes a lot of hard work to keep the colony healthy and thriving but i
realize that the colony and i are one.  We are each other.  What each of us does is done for all.  (Unlike those ruthless, competitive, bipedal apes, we are 100% cooperative and act for all.)

So here i am,
hauling another large bounty of meat for the colony to feast upon.
Maybe now i will finally get the recognition that i deserve.
Maybe now i will be the great worker-ant that all of the
other ants will aspire to be like.

But first, i must get this great bounty to the anthill.
While they are feasting, they will be thinking of me.
Oh lucky me for finding this treasure of voluminous, wonderful meat!

P.S. —  Don’t cringe!  (I know that you bipedal apes are watching… and judging.)  You bipedal apes eat hairy cattle and pigs and unquestioningly think and feel that it isn’t gross in the least. 
So don’t judge! 

 

Wonderful Meat-find #2 … Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2019
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An Ant’s Perspective of Bigness

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It was such tremendous luck finding this big green meal for the colony

It is very difficult to move all of this fine meat toward our anthill but
when I get it to the colony I will become a 
great heroine

I will be known as the one who courageously 
brought a lot of protein for the many larvae
all the while risking being stepped on by
those giant frightening bipedal apes

I will be revered and may even be promoted to

the job of attending to the Queen

Oh I am so very excited and happy

On the way to the colony … Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2019