All Posts Tagged ‘death

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My Beloved Wife Marla Passed

51 comments

My beloved wife Marla passed away on 10/07/20 due to complex complications from Wilson’s Disease. Her Hepatologist at the University of Chicago Medical Center said that it was amazing that she lived as long as she did. This makes me feel that i succeeded rather well at helping her with her illnesses. Marla was very brave and went through a lot of suffering. She was born with Wilson’s Disease, an autosomal recessive genetic disorder rendering the body to be unable to eliminate excess copper naturally. She had an auto-allergic reaction due to the penicillamine medication that she was on for Wilson’s in the past; penicillamine has a lot of very bad side-effects. At that time, she almost died from ARDS and ended up with only half-lung capacity. She suffered from dystonia — a strong tightening of the muscles involuntarily — and had to have Botox injections deep in her neck every two to three months. Due to the chronic dystonia of her neck, she had to have 8 cervical vertebrae replaced with titanium implants. She then lost the ability to swallow and had to (permanently) eat via enteral feeding (i.e., by a tube going into her stomach area). Before i retired, i was a teacher for the multiply handicapped, and — for decades — helped with enteral feeding (i.e., stomach feeding tubes) with some of my students; so i was very experienced with helping Marla with hers. Marla then had to have shoulder surgery… and then reconstructive shoulder surgery. She had Elastosis perforans Syndrome, a skin disorder (on her thighs) caused by having been on the penicillamine for years before getting on the better (less intrusive) new zinc therapy. She often told me that she had a low threshold for bearing pain but she was way more brave and stalwart than i could have ever been. Despite her pain and struggles, we had a whole lot of great, joyful times together.

I fell in love with Marla largely because of her warm and compassionate heart. She always put others first and was always thinking of others. She often made things for others, like quilts, fancy embroidery things, and homemade lotions. She was a nurse and often would take her elderly mother to the doctors. Everyone who met Marla loved her radiant, caring personality. I am so honored to be her husband.

Please consider donating to the Wilson Disease Association at http://www.wilsonsdisease.org

The following is one of the E. E. Cummings poems that i read at her beautiful outdoor memorial service along the Kankakee River:

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
                                                      i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

______________________________________________________________________________

The first photo is from our Wedding Day. The second photo is Marla, many years later, with one of our puppy-dogs. Marla always loved dogs.

Our Wedding, November 9, 1985
Marla Pic 2
Post

Spring Beauty

34 comments

 

 

Spring Beauty
you are always
(timelessly there)
and so amazingly new
in your selfless sharing

You help make the woodlands
simply magical
Your fragility
transcends transience
with joyous eternity

 

___________________________________________________________________________________________

[Note:   The common name for this Illinois woodland wildflower is Spring Beauty.  The entire width of the flower is less than 1/2 inch (around one centimeter wide).  This wildflower is still rather common throughout Illinois.  It, fortunately, can survive more environmental disruption than most wildflowers.  Its eternal essence has nothing to do with its persistence in Illinois or elsewhere.]

 

Spring Beauty … Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2019

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This is the Poem that came out of the grave

18 comments

 

 

This is the poem 
that came out of the grave
to tell you what death is.

Everyone has avoided the answer
but here is the answer:

Death is indifference;
Death is mental fragmentation;
Death is accepting immorality;
Death is accepting mortality;
Death is belonging to separatist organizations that
one thinks are “right,” 
and death is the limited space surrounded by boundaries.

 

 


It is very rare to see two Ambush Bugs together with a victim like this.  

Two Ambush Bugs with their Bumble Bee victim on Thistle Plant … Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2018

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We’ll Miss You Gab

43 comments

 

 

You were the best dog ever
and you are with us always
Most people don’t have a clue
about what eternity really entails
but we don’t have that problem

 

 

****************************************************************************************************

Our wonderful, little dog, Gabby (who was over 16 years old), passed away on Monday.   Marla and i really miss her!   Since we don’t have human children, this hits us especially hard.  That little sweetie was perfect in every way.   
We still have a number of other pets, including a Miniature Dachshund, Lola, (who is also quite a sweetie).  

 

Gabby … Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2018

Post

Hotter than Hell Today Haiku

14 comments

 

 

They cling to guns to feel safe
while callously letting the environment go to hell.
It’s all really starting to smell.

 

[Note:  So sad that the U.S. is a country addicted to guns.  Even the children have taken up shooting each other.  On another note:  So many fly in jets to go on vacations to “beautiful places,”  or to take “beautiful” nature photos.  The carbon footprint of jet travel, for human beings, is unbelievably high, massively high; there is nothing beautiful about ruining the environment.  People who frequently go traveling around the world are admired by others, not by me.]

 

Our Dying Environment… Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2018

 

 

 

 

 

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The Beauty of Timeless Psychological Negation

13 comments

 

[Note:   Most people are afraid to die psychologically, so they are never really living.]

 

 

 

no method
no practice
no effort
no goal
no system
no beliefs
no process
no analysis
no past
no future
no present
no nation
no religion
no ideology
no “shoulds”
no wants
no opinion
no fear
no escapes
no thoughts
no me
no authority
no time
no tomorrow
no yesterday
no separation
no excuses
no them
no being
no becoming
no controller
no labeling
no indifference

 

 

Skipper Investigating… Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2018

 

 

Post

The Turning of the Key

25 comments

 

 

The turning of the key looked south

         and the room peered deeper into itself

         When the circumscribed room left itself

         it was outdoors where it was no longer a room

         Gentle breezes again looked south

         and the radiant depths of the garden penetrated the mind

 

Oh,dear Emily,that blue fly that interposed upon your death,

         was she very alive in your confined,secluded space?

         Ms.Dickinson,was that stillness what can never die,

         even when the windows,with all their keepsakes,

         fail?

 

 

 

Eternal Blooms (1) Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2017

Eternal Blooms (2) Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2017

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In the Spectrum of the Whole…

26 comments

 

 

We’re all a part of the spectrum of holistic light

                              and just like the color yellow will never

permanently fade and disappear from that spectrum

each of us (including all life forms)

                              will never permanently disappear

 

With all the colors of life’s palette (life’s rainbow)

                              with all the dimensions of living light

we are there

There will always be yellow

                              and though yellow (and green) may fade now and then

they will always be there

Of Yellow and Green (1) Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2016

Of Yellow and Green (1) Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2016

Of Yellow and Green (2) Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2016

Of Yellow and Green (2) Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2016

Post

Froggie

19 comments

 

When)you croaked I cried for days

                   (four days)

Then eye saw hop

        splash

                                       jump

                                                                   slurp

moths dis

                                   appearing

(a peering here and there)

and then(Suddenly)                  I kicked the bucket

                                                                                                     Some folks wept

(it is useful for hauling

                             things         like

                             leaves and

                             sticks

and wasted t

                            e

                               a

                                   r

                             s

Froggie (1). Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2016

Froggie (1). Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2016

Froggie (2). Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2016

Froggie (2). Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2016

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On Eternity…

26 comments

 

one danced with infinity just the other day
of course,the limited and superficial never met her
(except briefly)
one would be safe to say

she always had her hat on
she always wore that dateless dress
her enduring nails reflected(ever(y)thing)
she remained brighter than(the rest)

*******************************************************************************************************************************

[The book that I wrote (i.e., “The Eternal Fountain of Youth”) deals a lot with the existent, basal nature of eternity, consciousness, and time.  This book is not for the masses.  Only read the book, by the way, if you are very stable and have it together, so to speak; it is extremely strong medicine.  Even though the content of the book is extremely potent, it is not really dangerous; the real danger is for us to continue in our barbaric ways without changing.]

“If I read a book and it makes my whole body so cold no fire can ever warm me, I know that is poetry. If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry. These are the only ways I know it. Is there any other way?”
― Emily Dickinson

life and death forever together. Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2016

life and death forever together. Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2016

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beyond rigor mortis of the mind…

8 comments

Though the body ages, creaks with pain, deteriorates, 

slowly withers like a flower…

one can have a youthful, budding, blossoming smile

on one’s face

 

Energy, action, movement

which make up the body

is, as Einstein suggested, eternal;

but eternity runs deeper than that

 

It permeates much deeper than the superficial

will ever realize;

and as they (unfortunately) continue to deteriorate 

both mentally and physically

something (warmly) eternally eludes dullness, indifference, and

deadcold callousness

At the fall of one's life. Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2015

At the fall of one’s life. Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2015

 

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1/4 Inch Long Wild Violet Flower

14 comments

.

Violet was a girl

with very few faults

she could sing and dance

and do somersaults

 

Violet was quite pretty

just as a flower

she loved to be in her garden

even during a shower

 

Violet blossomed in time

and loved to sun-bathe outdoors

she liked nature wild,

was never found in stores

 

All girls are Violets

in their own special way

they need never fear death,

while inevitably withering away

.

 Wild Violet; one of many in the backyard. Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2015

Wild Violet; one of many in the backyard. Photo by Thomas Peace c. 2015

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Don’t believe that never the twain shall meet…

6 comments

.

If, each and every day, one is wisely psychologically dying to the hullabaloo and clamor of superfluous thoughts, then one isn’t afraid of the mystery of dying (as so many are).  Then living and dying aren’t two separate things… nor the latter something horrible to be frightened of.

.

[Widow Dragonfly]

Black Widow.  Photo by Thomas Peace 2014

Black Widow. Photo by Thomas Peace 2014