So the Halloween Spider says to the receptionist at the Optometrist’s, “By the time I pay for all of these contact-lenses, I will be totally broke!”

So the Halloween Spider says to the receptionist at the Optometrist’s, “By the time I pay for all of these contact-lenses, I will be totally broke!”
Well, you can clearly see that her cerebral area has expanded significantly thanks to help from her mother having had ingested my blood DNA in the distant past. The many offspring in the large egg sac that she is now carrying will undoubtedly have the same attributes.
(See Tuesday’s post, if you haven’t, to clarify this ongoing Halloween mystery. Maybe you’ll get bitten next!)
[Over the weekend, i had a heart attack and went to the hospital. I’ve been a strict vegetarian since 1973, and this sudden heart thing — with arterial blockage and all — certainly came as a big shock; this is especially since, lately, i’ve been eating mostly just whole, organic foods… and i was no longer eating eggs, while the cheese that i ate, twice a week, was “no-fat cheese,” with just a little organic regular cheese sprinkled on top (additionally). I’ve been exercising daily, for years, on an indoor Schwinn bike. Heart disease runs in my family and, apparently, heredity plays a way bigger role in this than i had suspected. I didn’t get any stents; i had 40% to 50% blockage (in a curved area that is an undesirable site to place stents in); additionally, i had 100% blockage in a much smaller but significant artery. So they are treating me with medication. One of the medications that they are giving me is Lipitor, to help reduce LDL cholesterol, but my LDL levels are already low. I am back home and am doing well so far. I will not likely be making comments to my blogs (like i did in the past) for a while, and i probably will not be visiting other blogs as much, like i did in the past. The upcoming posts that i had made and had prescheduled (such as this one, below) will continue for a little while; after that, i will likely just post once or twice a week at the most. Thank you for your consideration and support! Tom]
A few years back, around this time of year, i was taking a little nap on the living room floor while Marla, my wonderful wife, was watching television. I was wearing shorts, and when i woke up and looked toward my legs, i saw a really huge spider suddenly run from my leg area. Since i’ve been a nature-lover all of my life, constantly examining and appreciating insects, spiders, frogs, snakes, and stuff on an ongoing basis, i did not panic. I caught the very large spider and put it in a glass jar. I did take photos of it back then. It was a Fishing Spider. Fishing Spiders tend to live around water, and we live right on a river. This spider was so very huge; i wondered how on earth it could have gotten into our modern, well-sealed house, but it did! This one looked like a tarantula; Fishing Spiders can get to be over 3 inches (8 cm) across. Anyway, i released the spider safely into our backyard by the river.
Later that evening, i noticed that on one of my legs, i had two sizable fang marks. No doubt, they were from the huge spider. I kid you not — and Marla can verify this — i had those fang mark scars on my leg for 3 to 4 months. I did not have any swelling or noticeable side-effects (except for a little craving to eat insects now and then)…tee-hee. So, this large spider probably ingested some of my blood (and blood DNA). Fishing Spiders can inject venom, but it is not dangerous to humans unless you are allergic to it.
So, the story ends… NOT! Just a little while ago, Marla spotted a big Fishing Spider on the front outside wall of our home. I took pictures of it, thinking that it would be perfect for Halloween. It had a big egg-case that it was protecting. I did not disturb it or harm it, of course, since it could be an offspring from the aforementioned spider that bit me. Epidemiological studies suggest that DNA ingested by animals can directly influence future generations and future evolutionary trends for that animal. These spiders could be carrying around my DNA.
Come home to papa! Thanks for showing me the egg-case of the little babies you have made! I feel so proud! 🙂
(I’ll post another photo of this beauty on Wednesday.)
To disturb others with words
on a Wordless Wednesday
is a grave mistake
in a dark cemetery of verbal spiders
Houses running to adjacent houses
bags opening smiles rustling
spooky sounds from darkness growling
Halloween Time
comes laughinglyscreaming down the giggling sidewalks
of candydropping thankyous
Don’t look behind you
Something’s there twistinglyclutching
Shadowysoon under your midnight bed
We see you clearly
and we have a wonderful treat coming for you
on Halloween
coming for you!
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And here is an excerpt from the Monster in the Mirror song sung by Grover… (not that i ever watch Sesame Street with my big bird friends).
At the very bottom of my gorgeous face
you may see what looks like a dreadful mouth
and a little above that
a large nose
and a little above that
two glaring eyes
And if you happen to be
one of the lucky ones
who is able to see these things
then I will crawl into
your midnight dream
and come again
around Halloween
to get a taste
of your warm bloodstream
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These Tiger Spiders, Argiope trifasciata, are very large and are common web-weavers in our Illinois area. They are so common in our Illinois area (in the fall) that i have — during nature photography outings — gotten used to inadvertently walking into their webs and having them crawling on me. They, in reality, are perfectly harmless and get off of me (on their own) before i need to bother to remove them myself. However, they are not harmless to grasshoppers and — nevertheless, during this U.S. holiday season — they may be visiting you tonight! Lots of them!
Here’s a cozy little poem for you in this Halloweenish time of year:
Sleep well tonight my little darlings
Here’s a little factoid to dream about tonight…
Scientists say that people
during sleep
each swallow an average of
around 8 spiders yearly
A nice warm dark moist place to visit
Bon Appetit!
It’s not little spiders that will really harm you and your children, it’s miseducated, traditional, ordinary people who let the environment go to hell.
“He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.” — Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Halloween is a candylicious
fun for kids time of year
and the ugly monster
with the orangish hair
(who is a reflection of a sick national immorality)
is mostly what we should fear